Senedd to order Bristol Channel to be renamed Cardiff Channel

Leaders at the Senedd have ordered the Bristol Channel to be renamed the Cardiff Channel.

Government officials have also ordered that Wales take the Kennett and Avon Canal by force.

Following a boisterous meeting in Cardiff Bay, a government official told WalesOnCraic:

“We’re taking a leaf out of the populist movement that’s sweeping the world right now and the first thing we realised was that the Bristol Channel isn’t even in Bristol. The city sits up on the arse-end of it so we thought it’d be a nice idea to rename it the Cardiff Channel. That way, we can celebrate how wonderful Cardiff is and bollocks to Bristol. Bristol don’t even care.

“We’d also like to take the Kennett and Avon Canal as we feel that we need it for our economy. It doesn’t really have anything to do with Wales as it heads straight from Bristol to London but we thought it would look good on our Record of Achievements.”

The Bristol Channel runs all the way from Bristol down to the end of the Bristol Channel. It was once featured on an episode of Highway with Harry Secombe. It also has the second-highest range of high and low tides in the world, making life difficult for crabs who just want to enjoy a day on the beach and then go back in the water.

English leaders have so far refused to comment on the comments of the Welsh leaders.