Calls for Monday mornings to be moved to Tuesday afternoons

Calls are being made to move Monday mornings to Tuesday afternoons.

The popularity of the idea has been gathering pace since people started waking up and realising that they’ve got five days of shit ahead of them.

Glenys Pillock, who runs the Let’s Ban That Monday Shit campaign, told WalesOnCraic:

“When I finish work on Friday nights, I heads straight into town to get totally wankered. I love it. I drink as much as I can, eat as many kebabs as I can, and then go home with anyone I can find and ride them like Shergar. It’s when I wake up on Saturday mornings with a head like a battered ashtray that I start worrying about Mondays. It’s like that horrible feeling of going back to school. I spend all day Saturday walking around like a zombie and then when I wake up on Sunday morning, I get very depressed because I know Monday morning is only 24 hours away. I can’t do anything on Sundays because I’m constantly thinking about Mondays.”

She said the campaign to move Monday mornings to Tuesday afternoons have been gathering support since she mentioned it down the club the other night.

“There’s a few of us who want it so we’re going to write to our local MP and get them to put into law. Then I can enjoy my weekends and not worry about Monday mornings.”

Glenys was planning a march through her local town today but has been told by her boss that she needed to be in at sparrow’s fart.