Welsh government spends £4bn to investigate mystery of ‘leaves falling off trees’

The Welsh government has commissioned a £4bn investigation into the mysterious falling of leaves from the country’s trees. 

Members of the Department of Trees and Bushes and Stuff have said they are concerned that trees will be left bare without their usual leaves on them. 

Senedd member Sammy Smallballs told WalesOnCraic: 

“Climate change is a real thing. Only a few months ago, I was tanning my tiny bollocks out in my front garden. And now look at it. It’s gone really cold and the leaves just keep falling off the trees. 

“I have asked my team to look into this mystery and the Senedd has agreed to give me £4bn to look into the problem. If any more leaves fall off the trees, they’ll be bald by winter!” 

Leaves are traditionally found on trees but government sources say that the shedding of leaves is a worrying trend. 

“I came out my house last night to put cat shit in my bin and I slipped on a wet leaf. I don’t know what this country is coming to. I blame Keir Starmer, personally.”