Flip-flop wearers itching to annoy people

WELSH NEWS

Flip-flop wearers who are itching to get out and annoy people are being frustrated by the dull weather, according to reports.

The season of gnarly yellow nails and foot fungus has started late this year due to the inclement weather.

Flip-flop wearer Phillipe Phillop told WalesOnCraic:

“By this time of year, I’m usually out showing off my scrawly talons. I especially like to go into restaurants and walk around for a bit to put people off their food. The weather this year has made it impossible so far. It’s been so cold that I’ve had to wear wellies, which obviously doesn’t show off my yellow nails. If the weather isn’t going to brighten up any time soon, I may just have to resort to doing this online. There’s no greater feeling than getting out my horrible feet and showing them off to the public.”

Authorities say that there have been less-than-usual callouts to the emergency services regarding the wearing of flip-flops this year.

“We’d normally get at least 20 calls a day of people falling ill after seeing manky feet in flip-flops but so far, we’re only getting about 3 calls a day. I’d like to think that we may get away with it this summer. Good ol’ climate change. I think it’s a good thing.”