The US Vice President JD Vance will be visiting Anglesey amid rumours that he wants to take over the island and make it the country’s 51st state.

The beaver-faced sofa fan is looking to take over the island's eyeliner production facilities for his own use.

A spokesperson at the White House told WalesOnCraic:

“Mr Vance will be visiting Anglesey as part of Trumple Thinskin’s vision of the new world order. After taking over Greenland this week, Mr Vance will pay a visit to the Welsh island as he understands that it is home to the world’s very best eyeliner production facilities.

“Anglesey is very important to the security of the US so it’s only fair that we come and invade it. We’ll hand out chewing gums to the locals to keep the locals happy. And once we’ve taken over Anglesey, we may look to encroach into Bangor. We hear they’ve got a few great pizza outlets there and we do like to eat like we have free health care.”

Mr Vance, who once made love to a sofa, will be bringing his wife to Anglesey on the visit.

“Mr Vance will be bringing Mrs Vance so that he can show her the lovely sights such as RAF Valley and that new car park at the ferryport.”

The Vice President is expected to arrive in Wales on Friday, shortly after The One Show.”

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