Midweek Sports Roundup

SPORT

TNT Dynamite Sticks 6 v The Little Valley With A Tree That Looks Like An Arse 2

Attendance: 6 including a dead bloke whose last wish was to watch the game in the stand.

Yogi Bear Rangers 0 v Sheepville United 7

Attendance: 12…no sorry 10…no sorry 6…we thought the sheep in the next field were fans.

Leek Soup City Limits 1 v New-hair-Do and Matching Panties 8

Attendance: One man and a dog called Dollar who can lick his own balls (and in fact also licks his owners).

The New Saint Called Roger Moore 3 v Airbus With Wings 4

Attendance: 3 until they left at half time to go and rob a post office.

Connah’s Quay No-Knobs 31 v Old Cefn Druids & Rat’s Tails 0

Attendance: 10,000 (which includes a ant hill)

Port Tadpole 5 v Porth-As-Mad-As Fack-Dog 6

Attendance: 0 (and that was the highest crowd of the season)

Have-You-Got-A-Vest City v My Mother Looks Like My Father Town

GAME ABANDONED AFTER THE REF WAS SHOT DEAD BY A PASSER-BY ON A HORSE