Welsh government officials have announced that Newport is to be tarmacked over to create a relief road on the M4.

The new relief road will allow visitors from England to reach the thriving metropolis of Cardiff much quicker.

Andrew Conehead, head of Welsh Roads and Stuff, told WalesOnCraic:

“We’ve always had a problem at those bloody tunnels for years. They’ve become the biggest car park in Wales. So last night, when I was in bed, I thought of a new idea which will allow people to go straight over Newport and onto Cardiff a lot quicker. My idea is to tarmac over Newport and plonk a lovely big road on top. That way, people can get from England to the important places in Wales a lot quicker.

“I’ve spoken to the boys down the yard and they’ve got some spare tarmac left over from when we didn’t build that race circuit in Newport. They said that they can have the job done by the end of the month, which is great news.”

The relief road won’t include street lighting or safety barriers because the Welsh government has been looking to cut costs to fund their £4bn plastic straw recycling plant in the south Wales valleys.

Tarmacking is expeted to start this weekend.

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