The future of Oakwood Theme Park has taken another twist as planners put forward a new plan to turn the venue into a Chernobyl Danger Zone reenactment site.

Plans for the site to be reopened as World of Greggs fell through after the CEO of the consortium ate all the sausage rolls.

Martin Gunt, Chief Planner for Things That Have Gone Tits Up told WalesOnCraic:

“The World of Greggs thing was never going to happen. We just couldn’t trust those involved and this was highlighted when the CEO of the consortium ate all the sausage rolls we’d laid on. We’ve now got some new people coming in and they’ve provided us with a new vision - a tribute to the Chernobyl Danger Zone.

“We’ve not thought about what we’re going to put in there yet but there’s plenty of wasteland and abandoned equipment there so we’re not expecting to do much in the way of renovation. We might just chuck in a few chairs so that people can sit down and admire the devastation but other than that, I think we’re almost good to go.”

The popular Welsh theme park was closed down following reports that it was shit.

“I never visited Oakwood when it was Oakwood,” said Mr Gunt “but I have heard that Oakwood, when it was Oakwood, was pretty shit. We plan to improve on that and give families hours of fun.”

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