Advanced talks are underway to reopen Oakwood theme park as a pastry-inspired venue.

The World of Greggs Theme Park would include rides such as the Steak Bake Spinner and the Sausage Roll Tunnel of Love.

Glenn ‘Wibbly Wobbly’ Webbley, director of the consortium leading the project, told WalesOnCraic:

“We are in advanced talks with a well-known UK-based national bakery chain, who I can’t mention at this stage, to develop a new theme park called World of Greggs. We would look to utilise some of the existing infrastructure at the site and redevelop them into something more pastry-based.

“Our team member Bob has spent the last few nights in the bath, thinking up new ideas. He’s come up with some real gems like the Steak Bake Spinner and the Sausage Roll Tunnel of Love. We were debating a ride for vegans but they’re annoying as shit so we’re parking that idea for the moment.”

The new theme park would allow patrons to simulataneously eat and throw up on the rides.

“We’ve thought of everything,” added Mr Webbley. “It’d be a shame to see the site turned over to housing so we’re going to do everything we can to bring our vision to life. But lunch first though. What you having? I’ve got a chicken baguette here somewhere in my bag.”

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