Schoolchildren across Wales will soon be savouring one of the country’s most-loved desserts when pink custard is reintroduced to school lunchtime menus.

Pink custard was removed from school dinners when it was discovered that dinner ladies were making it by adding tins of Dulux to standard custard. The new recipe means kids will no longer be downing gallons of non-yellowing gloss.

Richard Dullard, head of Welsh Schools Mealtimes Department, told WalesOnCraic:

“Over the last 20 years, our kids have been missing out on pink custard and it really does show. We have a generation of young people who have not had the satisfaction of shovelling pink custard into their gobs and it’s had a massive effect on society. We’ve got smashed up phone boxes and swear words all over the place.

“We believe that pink custard is the answer to all of that so we are investing £14bn into reintroducing pink custard to Welsh schools. Children will be able to have it every weekday with any meal they want. We’ll even be serving it in pint glasses for them.”

Some pupils have reacted with caution about the pink custard.

“It looks nice but probably tastes like shit,” said 7-year-old Timmy Shinyshoes.

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