Rees-Mogg to return to his second job as a haunted pencil

UK POLITICS

Jacob Rees-Mogg is to return to his former job of a haunted pencil, according to reports.

Mr Rees-Mogg lost his seat alongside a man wearing a baked bean balaclava among a host of other high-profile Tory casualties.

A spokesman for Mr Rees-Mogg told WalesOnCraic:

“Jacob will be fine. He’s stashed away millions in off-shore accounts over the years so he’s got nothing to worry about financially. He is concerned though that he’ll be spending his days twiddling his fingers so he’s going to go back to doing what he does best - being a haunted pencil.

“Mr Rees-Mogg has had plenty of experience in this career, having started at the age of 8. It’s likely he’ll start on one day a week to ease himself back into things and we’ll see how it goes from there. If it’s too much for him, we might just get him a job fixing penny-farthings.”

Mr Rees-Mogg spent 14 years as an MP. He made many television appearances in his most recent role of Minister for Brexit Opportunities, where he worked 30 minutes a week, mainly making himself a cup of tea with some cake.