Severn Bridge closed to keep English holidaymakers away

WELSH NEWS

Severn Bridge bosses in Wales have announced that they are closing both the Severn Bridge and the Severn Tunnel on Monday in a bid to stop English tourists from entering the country.

Management of the crossings told the press that they didn’t want any of those pesky English coming over and spending their English pounds.

Bridge manager Timmy Tightarse, told WalesOnCraic:

“We usually like to have a laugh by closing the bridges, especially when the Saes come over here during the Six Nations. But we was down the pub the other night and we all agreed that we didn’t want those types coming into Wales during the summer. We all said we wanted a nice quiet summer and that would be spoilt by English people coming over here and spending all their money.

“With that in mind, we decided to close the bridge for a longer period of time over the summer to stop them coming into the country. We’ll reopen it again when the weather turns shit because no one wants to come here then.”

Both the bridge and the tunnel will be closed throughout July. Workers on the bridge are planning a holiday in Minehead Butlins during their time off.

English bridge bosses added that it was their decision to close the bridge.

“We didn’t want to let the pesky Welsh out this summer. They’re pain in the arse.”