Shoppers queue to return the shit they bought before Christmas

Shoppers across the UK have been queueing to get refunds for all the shit they bought before Christmas in order to buy food in January.

Queues formed at shopping malls across the country in the early hours, as shoppers demanded refunds on shit they didn’t need.

Harry Halfhead, a shopper at St David’s Shopping Centre in Cardiff, told WalesOnCraic:

“I really didn’t need to buy this deep sea diving suit for £300 so I’m returning it to the shop so that I can feed my kids in the next few weeks. I felt it was a bit extravagant at the time but it was Christmas and I felt I’d deserved it after a tough year. I’ve only used the suit once when I went to the bottom of the lake in the local park so I’m hoping that they don’t notice. I need the £300 back.”

Shop manager Jenny Jiggletits told WalesOnCraic:

“We’ve had people here since 6 am, banging on the doors and demanding money back. It’s only 11.30 and we’ve given away more refunds than we have taken money. If we carry on like this, we’ll have wiped out our yearly profits before teatime.”

The cost-of-living crisis has affected the public’s ability to buy stuff they don’t actually need.

Economist Richard Penny said:

“This cost-of-living crisis has affected the public’s ability to buy stuff they don’t actually need.”