UN bans pineapple on pizza

The United Nations has officially banned pineapple as a pizza topping.

The craze of putting pineapple on pizza was started by some dickhead during the 1960s. The United Nations has said that the world can no longer go on with pineapple on top of a cheese and tomato base.

A spokeswoman for the United Nations told WalesOnCraic:

"It seems as if the world has been turned upside down these last few years and one of the main reasons for this is because people have continued to put pineapple on their pizzas. This horrendous procedure has been going on for far too long and we have now decided to act swiftly to deal with it.

“We are therefore announcing that from today, pineapple on pizza will be banned. Those attempting to put this exotic fruit on their pizza could face up to ten years in jail. We will not tolerate it any more."

Pizza lovers across the world have broadly welcomed the move.

"I was happily married for 34 years until I discovered that my wife likes pineapple on her pizza," said Mario Kart. "We were divorced the next day. I therefore welcome this new ban. I am now looking for a new wife. Hopefully, one that has never put pineapple on her pizza."