President Donald Trump has announced new measures to tackle his country’s problem with overeating.

The Tangerine Turd said that his ‘beautiful’ policy of making food unaffordable will help solve the US obesity crisis.

Speaking while playing golf, he told reporters:

“Food is overrated in any case. My policy, some say it’s the best policy to tackle the crisis, means that putting food out of the reach of the majority of people will mean that they won’t be tempted to eat those crappy foods, you know the ones, those burgers and hot dogs. Some people say that I’m a genius and they’re right of course. Remember - I was the first one to come up with the idea of injecting bleach into the body to cure Covid. I was also the first president to look directly at the sun during an eclipse. And I was also the first sitting president to suggest nuking a hurricance.

“This new policy is a beautiful policy, some say it’s the best they’ve ever seen.”

Food industry experts said that by the end of April, the average American won’t even be able to afford their traditional bleached chicken Sunday dinners.

“We’ll see how it goes,” added Trump. “Anyway. I’ve got a game of golf to finish, so if you wouldn’t mind, I need to get on.”

Trump’s new tariff policies have wiped off $454bn from the world economy.

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