Valleys vaper mistaken for Stars In Their Eyes host

A vaper from Merthyr Tydfil was mistaken for TV host Matthew Kelly as he stood outside WH Smiths on Saturday, prompting bystanders to expect an episode of Stars In Their Eyes.

Shoppers gasped as Gary Glumchops appeared through a cloud of mist, only for the crowd to feel crest-fallen once they realised it was just a scally.

Ethel Sidekick, who was one of the crowd, told WalesOnCraic:

“I really thought it was Matthew. I’d just come out of Greggs because they do a nice Christmas selection in there this time of year and I looked to my left to see a big puff of smoke. It brought back memories of Saturday nights at my house when we’d all gather around the box to watch the show. I clutched my scarf and gasped as this tall figure stepped through the mist. I think I may have seen stars, but I may have made that bit up for dramatic effect.

“Anyway. Turns out it was just a scally from the nearby estate and his vape. We were all sorely disappointed as we would have loved an impromptu Stars In Their Eyes. I loved that show. The best one was when Chris De Burgh sang with Chris De Burgh. That was something very special. I thought I was shitfaced at first and thought I was seeing double but it all part of Matthew’s cunning plan.”

Glumchops has apologised to the shoppers for raising their expectations.

“Soz about that,” he said. “Just needed my vape, innit?”