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How Welsh Are You?

How Welsh Are You?

Find out how Welsh you actually are with our super-doopa quiz

Royston Butterscotch
July 07, 2024

QUIZ

You might thing you’re Welsh. But are you? Try out our definitive quiz to find out how Welsh you really are

1. You enter a competition with Saga and win a round-the-world holiday for you and ten of your mates. It will last three months, full-board, and free bars wherever you go. Do you:

a) Pack your bags.

b) Consider the offer carefully, ensuring that you don’t have to sign any contracts that will allow Saga to use you as their bitch for the next ten years.

c) Politely decline the offer, pointing out that your local Welsh village has everything you ever need, and that there is no finer sight in the world than the local stream that runs at the back of your house (when the council have taken the trolleys out of there anyway) but thanks anyway.

2. The Welsh rugby team are having trouble choosing a first fifteen to take part in their next match. They arrange a game between the ‘Probables’ and the ‘Possibles’. Which team do you support?

a) You don’t mind. Either way, it’s an interesting experiment to see if there are any players whose skills have been overlooked by the coaching staff.

b) Couldn’t give a shit.

c) Support both teams, feeling equally deflated and happy at the end of the game when one Welsh side wins and the other loses.

3. There’s a blizzard and you’re snowed in at the local Kwik Save store. After 24 days without being saved, the manager, Debbie Largethighs allows you to eat some of the stock to stay alive. Do you eat:

a) Go for some of those posh biscuits that you’ve always had your eye on but never been able to afford.

b) Anything. Don’t give a shit me.

c) Some seaweed bread stuff and a bit of Caerphilly cheese.

4. You research your family tree and find out that your great-great-grandfather came from England. Do you:

a) Phone up Davina McCall and ask her to come around and make a TV show out of your discovery.

b) Trace your ancestors and arrange a massive piss-up at Aust Service Station on the M4.

c) Invite all your family around to your house before ‘accidentally’ leaving your gas cooker on for half hour and then lighting a fag.

5. You’re out down the shops buying a new mobile phone. Which brand would you buy?

a) Apple.

b) Samsung.

c) A Dai-Phone. Invented by Dai down the pub using two cups and a piece of string.

6. You’re invited around to your new partner’s parents house and they’re making you Sunday lunch. They suddenly shove a huge Yorkshire pudding on your plate. What do you do?

a) Eat it and ask for another one.

b) Leave it until last and pretend you can’t eat any more, leaving it on the side of the plate.

c) Show your outrage that you’re not being fed proper local food, kick off that they’re trying to impose foreign foods on you, and then file for a divorce from your new partner, even though you’re not actually married.

7. When you head into Wales and pass the ‘Welcome to Wales’ sign, how do you react?

a) Remark that you are now back in Wales.

b) Remark that you are now back in Wales and start singing Tom Jones.

c) Remark that you are now back in Wales and start singing Tom Jones and stopping the car to re-adjust your underwear because the thought of being back in Wales has given you a massive throb-on.

8. What is the best national anthem in the world?