The world’s first commercial sausage roll orchard has been officially opened in Tonyrefail.

Over 400 sausage roll trees have been planted at the orchard, which will provide food for hundreds of unhealthy twats in the local community.

Billy Pastry, Head of Sausage Roll Development in Wales, told WalesOnCraic:

“We all loves a bit of sausage and this project has been in development for over five years. We first planted our sausage roll trees back in 2020 and this is the first year that they’ve actually borne fruit.

“We’ve sampled the sausage rolls that our orchard has been producing and I can say, with complete bias, that these are the best sausage rolls you can get. Visitors to the orchard can, for an extortionate fee, pluck fresh sausage rolls straight from the trees. We’ve even placed red sauce dispensers at strategic points along the way so that people can dab a bit of ketchup on them.”

The new orchard is expected to give local Greggs outlets a run for their money.

A spokesman for Greggs said:

“We’re not bothered. We know our sausage rolls set the standard amongst sausage rolls. And besides, we’ll pay a team of locals to go in and chop down all their trees next week.”

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